Vice

Writing from the soul...

Sometimes I wish I could go back.
Back to those days when I was still intact,
when I still had my innocence.
I wish I could go back to that day
The day we met,
you came with a beautiful veil on you head,
a covering that was radiant, adorned with all this beautiful ornaments.
hmm! I felt like a groom
who was about to make a life long commitment
he wasn't planning for,
but was still very eager to have his bride.
 Yeah! little immature me, I didn't know what was lurking under.

I saw you and I fell immediately, oh! little immature me,
I was so naive,
I didn't see you for what you truly are ,
I wish I had been wiser,
I wish I had closed my eyes,
I wish I had ran,
I wish I had done something.
But I didn't,
I guess you could say I was star struck,
I didn't know who you truly were,
What you truly are,
I was mesmerized by your beauty, so I thought,
silly me, I thought I could handle anything,
 I that I blindly let you in, I guess I was kind of proud now that I look back,
but it's too late now!

now that I see clearly, now that I removed the veil,
now that I see you for who you are
For what you are
I just can't seem to get rid of you,
I can't seem to shake you off...
I see now that you are a leach and you are sucking me dry,
if it were mutual it might have been thrilling.

but it's not, you are killing me,
and I can see that you don't care at all.
Everytime I've fought you off has been to no avail,
your grip over me is strong,
it is rooted way down to my bones. And the sad part of it all is that,
I have to keep you hidden, like a scar that I am ashamed of, I am ashamed of you,
But I can't risk it,
I just can't risk exposing you,
cos if I do, I'll be exposing myself,
to judgement and criticism,
maybe I am weak for having these fears,
and maybe they sound silly to you,
but they are my fears and they are real to me,
and I am not ready to face them, no not yet,
and honestly I don't think I'll ever be.
Maybe I could drown you out
if I can focus on other things.

Well I guess I'll leave this to fate,
Cos afterall, I have tried everything,
all to no avail.
I hope with time I get to tell another story,
A story of how I fought and won,
I hope this tale doesn't live on forever
And it's ending is Just around the corner,
but for now,  I guess I'll just keep on going,
just keep on pushing until I can't no more...
I pray God helps me, I pray he saves me from you.

Writing from the soul...

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