INNER WAILINGS

Writing from the soul...

Jay Léxí: Inner Wailings

My thoughts are me, they are my Identity, they are an entity, they are my expression, my inner wailings, they are the things I keep in, they are my creation.

They are the things I want know one to know, well maybe someone. I keep them in 'cos most times I'm ashamed of them, why? I don't know, maybe it's because I want know one to know me, the one behind this veil, the real me, why? because it makes me feel vulnerable and I don't like it.

But I complain when they misunderstand me, when they judge me, i say you don't know, you don't get, you don't understand me. And then more are created. Thoughts of anger, disdain and hate and they continue to fill me up, they continue to grow, they multiply and they become more difficult to satisfy.

Maybe that's why I've felt so crowded lately, maybe that's why I feel like I'm about to explode, and I feel like I'm shutting down.

This is killing me, the Vicious cycle is tearing me up, sometimes I just want to turn it off, But is seems I'm all boxed up, I got no where to run, and I keep trying to keep them in,

but they are already so many, that I've got my hands full, I think I'll soon be consumed by their volume. And another one is born.

I'm about to loose control, i feel them in here, screaming and wailing, yearning for freedom, telling me to let them out, but I just keep holding them in, Cos I fear that if I let them out, my reputation this far will be lost and all this work would have been for nought.

And now I'm thinking, what should I do?

Ahh! Another one is born.

Jay Léxí: Writing from the soul...

Writing from the soul...